smiley360.com—Be Heard. Be Happy.

smiley360.com—Be Heard. Be Happy.

PLEASE HELP!

Even though almost nobody reads my blog I thought I'd give it a shot.

My Special Education final includes 2 interviews with someone in the special education field (not necessarily a teacher) and it's due Thursday and I have no idea who to interview! If you or someone you know is, please let me know! We can do it via e-mail or whatever works best. It's really simple and quick, just a couple of questions .. I don't need to know your identity either! Your name and such can remain private!

Pleaseee help!

Wise Words.. of Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. 
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

420

Image from fun-with-mushrooms.deviantart.com

And .. It's 420. Hooray.
No, I don't smoke. I used to .. a lot. And I do like it. But sometimes it would give me headaches towards the end of my smoking period ..  so I stopped. I am an advocate for legalizing marijuana, and not just so pot smokers can live it up.

Image from Indybay.org

If you read any of my 420 themed quotes, you'll see that the Declaration of Independence was written on hemp, and that George Washington encouraged farmers to grow hemp wherever they could. Hemp pretty much established the economy in America.

Image from californiapotblog.com

They don't tell you that in history books, of that I am certain. Sure, they tell you about tobacco and cotton, but what about one of the easiest crops to grow, that can be used to virtually anything? That doesn't destroy the land after harvest, making that land useless until it is turned over, and saves the need for a lot of logging?

Image from badgals-radio.com

If anything, hemp should be grown in America at least to help stimulate the economy .. I mean, I won't get into the whole debate on whether or not people should be allowed to smoke pot freely.

Image from huffingtonpost.com

Let me just say this, you might have heard that if we legalize marijuana, we will just be helping the drug lords. NOT TRUE. The drug lords DO NOT want marijuana legalized (and therefor regulated and taxed) because it would just destroy their 'empires' that they have built! It will take away much of their business, and yes, they would still probably sell or move on to sell harder drugs, and no, I do not have an answer for that. But seriously, do you even know what is in the pot that most people buy? It is cut with crack cocaine, PCP, etc.! It is not PURE, and pot smokers do not always have the resources to access naturally grown pot.. meaning that they are putting extremely harsh chemicals in their bodies, when, if they were able to get a hold of natural pot, it would not be so harmful to them, nor would the second hand smoke that comes from it, if you were wondering.

Image from aljanine.com

Ok, so for now, I am done my ramblings. The message is,

Image from idahonorml.org

Image from sodahead.com

But please, enjoy!

Oh, so many quotes..

So, you must have realized that I have made a bunch of posts titled "Wise Words..", I promise you, this is not for naught. I think that we can learn a lot from the past, and especially from things they said that aren't too well known. I am discovering many of these quotes for the first time as well, and I wanted to share them. Besides annoying my sister on Facebook for changing my status each time I get a new quote, I don't think anyone else minds too much.

Wise Words.. of Edgar Cayce

It is thought and feeling which guides the universe, not deeds.
-- Edgar Cayce [March 18, 1877 - January 3, 1945]

Wise Words.. of Bill Hicks

“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?”
-Bill Hicks [December 16, 1961 - February 26, 1994]

They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.
-- Bill Hicks [December 16, 1961 - February 26, 1994]

 

Wise Words.. of George Washington

"Make the most you can of the Indian Hemp seed and sow it everywhere."
- George Washington, U.S. President quote on Hemp

Wise Words.. of Albert Einstein

"The prestige of government has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the prohibition law. For nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of crime in this country is closely connected with this."
- Albert Einstein quote on Hemp

Wise Words.. of Henry Ford

"Why use up the forests which were centuries in the making and the mines which required ages to lay down, if we can get the equivalent of forest and mineral products in the annual growth of the hemp fields?"
- Henry Ford quote on Marijuana

Wise Words.. of Jimi Hendrix

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
-- Jimi Hendrix [27 November, 1942 - 18 September, 1970]

Wise Words.. of Thomas Sowell

It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong.
-- Thomas Sowell

Wise Words.. of Steven Weinberg

“With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil — but for good people to do evil — that takes religion.”
-Steven Weinberg

Wise Words.. of Terence McKenna

"If the words "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" don't include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn't worth the hemp it was written on."
- Terence McKenna quote on Marijuana

Wise Words.. of Norman Mailer

“One's condition on marijuana is always existential. One can feel the importance of each moment and how it is changing one. One feels one's being, one becomes aware of the enormous apparatus of nothingness -- the hum of a hi-fi set, the emptiness of a pointless interruption, one becomes aware of the war between each of us, how the nothingness in each of us seeks to attack the being of others, how our being in turn is attacked by the nothingness in others.”
-Norman Mailer

Wise Words.. of Voltaire

History is the lie commonly agreed upon.
-- Voltaire [21 November, 1694 - 30 May, 1778]

Wise Words.. of Thomas Jefferson

Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.
-- Thomas Jefferson [13 April 1743 - 4 July 1826]

Wise Words.. of Dan Quayle

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.
-- Dan Quayle

Wise Words.. of Leo Tolstoy

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
-- Leo Tolstoy [September 9, 1828 - November 20, 1910]

Wise Words.. of Albert Einstein

A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeeded be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
-- Albert Einstein [March 14, 1879 - April 18, 1955]

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
-- Albert Einstein [March 14, 1879 - April 18, 1955]

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
-- Albert Einstein [March 14, 1879 - April 18, 1955]


My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
-- Albert Einstein [March 14, 1879 - April 18, 1955]

Wise Words.. of Edmund Burke

Whilst shame keeps its watch, virtue is not wholly extinguished in the heart; nor will moderation be utterly exiled from the minds of tyrants. 
-- Edmund Burke [January 12, 1729 - July 9, 1797], Reflections on the Revolution in France (1790)

Wise Words.. of Oscar Wilde

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” -Oscar Wilde

Wise Words.. of Jamie Paolinetti

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” -Jamie Paolinetti

Wise Words.. of Lao Tzu

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

 

Dissapointed and Betrayed

 

I won't explain what has happened over the past two weeks. It has been bad, awful, terrifying even. But under that still lies love. If you think you have love, and start to doubt it, remember this quote:

 

"Love comes to those who still hope although they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe although they’ve been betrayed, to those who still love although they’ve been hurt before."

 

I hope with all my heart it will prove true for me.

Love.

"When life fails you, don’t you have that special one person that keeps you hanging in there? And if you don’t, maybe you’re that person for someone else. So, when the world turns its back on you and you’re ready to surrender, please just remember that you’re not just fighting for yourself … but for that someone too, because once you’re gone nothing is keeping them from disappearing too."

To love an addict.

image from livestrong.com

Heroin. Yup. I love a heroin addict. Who is currently in recovery, in Florida.

When we met he had gotten out of rehab the previous year, was very upfront about his situation to me and my family. And I appreciated that. I knew there was a chance of him relapsing, but I saw through the addict to the man he really was. And I was in love with that man.

Did he relapse? Yes. Many, many times.

image from heroinaddictionhelpguide.com

I stood by and supported him, I knew that he wouldn't stop unless he truly wanted to. For a while he tried NA/AA meetings .. which he even had me accompany him to some of them.  Personally,  dislike the program. There are many reasons why. I am glad that it helps the people it does, but I do not think it is a program for everyone.

A lot happened over the course of the next two years, it was not all easy, but we remained strong. Yes, he manipulated and lied to me. Even stole some money once (later admitted it). I could usually tell when he did something wrong, and could always get him to talk about it.

This may sound like an awful relationship, but it's not. Really. And no, he wasn't using the whole time. He was always good to me, and most of the time a really amazing guy. He has had a lot of hardships, and I know he needs to face them. Which is why this rehab is good for him.

I want to state that I did not start dating him because I want to "fix" him, he was on fairly solid ground when we met. The reason I stayed with a person like that was because I saw beyond it (and I know that is not always a good thing to do)- but it worked well for us and our families.

It has been 2 months since I have seen him. And it hurts a lot. I'm not sure where to turn because as my blogs name states, I am a self-proclaimed recluse. I commute to school, go to classes, and come home. I talk to people at school but not enough that we hang out outside of school or that we confide in each other. Besides doing what I need to be doing to get my degree, I am at home, and missing him. It's not all bad, I have taught myself to crochet, spent time with my parents, and talked to some people online that I haven't seen since my first year of college when I was at a different school. I also see his family every once in a while, his mom, little sister, little brother, older brother, and the two rats that Anne (his sister) and I share. They live at her house because my mom decreed that no more living things would die in this house. Which meant, no pets after my rat Strawberry died.

Strawberry peaking out from underneath my covers after a short nap!

Then we got Sugar and Oreo! Oreo was named by me because she is all black with a white stripe going up her tummy! Anne named Sugar for obvious reasons.

Sugar and Oreo right after we bought them home!

If you think rats are gross, I have a whole argument I could present to you why there are the best 'small' pet. But that's for a different time. I have really gotten off track with what I was saying.

I'm saying, I miss him so much. So much. That's kinda why I've started this blog, to get it all out. At times I am angry, and at others just sad, and I can also be so happy for him and the journey he is taking to recovery.

I really wish I knew a way to help me feel better and connect with others who understand what I am going through, or are at least sympathetic and willing to listen to my rants! I'll even listen to theirs! ;)

Alla prossima,

The Self-Proclaimed Recluse.

Wise Words..

Man is certainly stark mad: he cannot make a worm, yet he will make gods by the dozen.
-- Michel de Montaigne [28 February, 1533 - 13 September, 1592]

Never Enough Time

No matter how often we talk, it's never long enough.